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This will be my last hurrah then I promise you guys that I’ll leave Mr.Don’t-Talk-Just-Kiss a.k.a. Usher alone.

I just wanted to know if he’s really as stupid as I think he is so here’s what I did…

I left him a testimonial on his account.  It’s not a usual testimonial.  It was an INSULTING one.  Yes I know I am getting really mean here but I just wanna know what he’s really made of.  And hey, this kind of thing that I did (the blogs and all, plus the insulting testimonial) is not even worth the hassle that he caused me…not to mention the PhP18k U2 iPod that he supposedly lost and did not replace!

Anyway, as I’ve said I left him an insulting testimonial just to see how smart he is.  My theory goes:  If he approves it then that simply means he’s a nincompoop.

I tried to make my testimonial look cute by adding a smiley and the words "wink wink" after the statement (well that’s what i always see in the testimonials of some of my friends…plus the mwahs and other pa-cute stuff..hehe)…hey if you’re sharp you’d catch my drift right away!

I therefore conclude that Mr.Don’t-Talk-Just-Kiss a.k.a. Usher is a dummy.

Can somebody tell him about this please?!!!

Hey Sonny!  You can take your cue from here!  mwahahahaha! (evil laugh again!)

Before I post his pic here, I just want you people to know why I’m doing this okay.  There are a number of reasons in fact and here are just some…

to get back at him for being such a freaking son of a female dog…
to forewarn all the other girls out there of this guy’s MO…

and last but not least, to share the moral lesson of this story…

that a hot body,  oozing sex appeal, and washboard abs will not make up for what’s lacking in between his ears…hehehehe…in other words, content is still more important than packaging.  Well at least for me!

Guys,  I just want you to know that Mr. Dont-talk-just-kiss is not all that!  Sayang ang 6-pack abs!  Sana binigay na lang kay…mwahahahahaha!

I think it’s time for me to reveal who this guy is…or maybe not just yet. One more story to really make you people love him more…

Remember when I posted a blog about my lost mobile phone right? I lost it when I went back to that same freakin’ island for my last summer getaway. That was also the last time I ever saw Mr. Don’t-Talk-Just-Kiss. He stopped texting me because it turned out he kinda got jealous of one of the guys I went there with (what a pathetic loser!). Anyway, a couple of weeks after that unfortunate event, Mr. Don’t-Talk-Just-Kiss texted me to inform me that a friend of his is selling a second hand unit the same as the one I lost. He asked me if I’m interested but I told him no so he said he’s just gonna buy it for himself instead…(and I thought he doesn’t have money to replace my iPod!). I really don’t know where this guy got his guts but I’m telling you, it’s almost as thick as one could ever imagine! He asked me if he could have my phone charger because the phone didn’t come with one when he bought it (probably because it’s one of those lost or stolen phones)…I told him I already gave it away though I actually didn’t. I just don’t want to give it to him simply because he’s such an asshole. I thought he’s gonna stop at that point but he didn’t!!! You’re not gonna believe this but he asked to have the box of my lost phone instead!!! What a freak!??! Anyway, I said yes just to make him stop. So we finally agreed to meet up so I could give him the box and he’d return my iPod crystal case. That was June. A month had passed and all I got from him were weird alibis on why he can’t make it to

Manila

and end up getting nothing! Mwahahahaha (evil laugh here)…but hey he’s such a persistent freak-O you know! He texted me and asked me if I didn’t give the box to my officemate. I didn’t bother replying to his message anymore because I already got what I wanted. But I got another text message from him the following morning. Yeah you guessed it right! He’s still asking for my freaking box!!!!

ANG KAPAL KAPAL KAPAL KAPAL KAPAL!!!!!!!!! HINDI KO NA KAYA ‘TO!!!!!! (I thought to myself)…

So I texted him this…”hey I ran out of load. I got my iPod case already. I’m just thinking, what if I’ll give you my P910 box complete with the manual, PC suite, dock, cable, and charger once you replace my U2 iPod? Don’t worry, I’ll give you back your iPod. How’s that? J”.

And this was his reply…I quote, “Wla naman kase akng pambili ng ipod ngayon eh. Ayaw na nga ibigay ng mama ko ung pera ko eh. Cge d bale na lang po kung wg na lang ung box. Salamat!”

Poor thing! I wonder how he’ll be able to put up his “RICE IN A BACKS” business if his mommy wouldn’t give him his money?? Well that’s how he said it. I’m just writing it as it was pronounced.

Anyway, I just have one message for you Mr. Don’t-Talk-Just Kiss:

Hey there! Just in case you’re reading this, please do take care and don’t forget to text me when you GOT home!

Hehehehehe…yes folks, that’s another one of his quotable quotes. Isn’t he just adorable!

Okay
so where was I? Oh yeah, I’m done
recounting the memories on the first time I’ve met Usher a.k.a. Mr.
Don’t-Talk-Just-Kiss. Let’s go back to
the present year then…

March
2006…it was my second beach getaway for the year. I went back to this island not far from

Manila

but I was with a
different group this time. There were
just four of us…3 girls and a guy(?)…anyway, we got to the island really early
than expected which just suited us perfectly because we were able to do almost
everything that we wanted…we went snorkeling, we sunbathe and had a massage
under the scorching sun. It was just
perfect especially for an overnight vacay…

 After
all these activities, we finally decided to rest for a few hours before we go
out again and enjoy the night life that this island could offer.

Seven PM

– we were having a fare
of inihaw na liempo and some beers to get us warmed up for more drinking. After another round of San Mig light, we
decided to order ourselves a pitcher of the famous native brew, which is a mix of
rhum, soda, orange juice, and grenadine with bits of apples…it wasn’t really
like Bora’s Blue Illusion but it’s okay. In fact, it must have been really okay because we got a bit tipsy. Halfway through our second pitcher of this
sling, I told me friends the story of Mr. Don’t-Talk-Just-Kiss. One of my friends got a bit too gutsy and
curious and decided to look for this guy so that she could set me up with him
(according to her). So we dared her…and sad to say she was successful!  So next thing I know was that Mr. Don’t-Talk-Just-Kiss
was asking for my name…(it really didn’t happen that fast okay. I just wanted to get this done and over with
because I am so excited to reveal this guy’s identity in my next chapter!
Hahaha!)

 Anyway,
back to the story…So there he was standing in front of me when he said, “Hey,
you’re sexy…”. Of course I couldn’t
believe what I’ve just heard!  I mean it’s not everyday that I get hit on by a guy with that oh-so-original pick-up line! so I said “Thanks” in my sweet but sexy way (I’m
telling you it’s not a very good combination when your tipsy…yuck!)…and then he
goes, “Tamang tama lang ang pagka-chubby mo”. What the hell was that?!!! First, he told me that I’m sexy…then the next thing
he told me was that I’m freaking chubby!!?!! (hello!  i think he had stupid for lunch that day!)  So I told him that he was being such an arse for saying that but he
immediately tried to appease me by saying that what he meant was I am
voluptuous. Okay forgiven, slightly
though. 

Anyway, so he asked for my name
and then next thing I know was my friend has already invited him to join us in our
table. He did join us though I wasn’t really expecting
that he would…surprisingly we had a nice conversation so I thought maybe I was
wrong when I called him Mr. Don’t-talk-just-kiss. It seemed like he made some sense at some point of our conversation that night…well it’s either that or I was
just tipsy and bordering on being drunk that my hearing and logic were malfunctioning…oh well…to cut the story a bit shorter, our meeting was capped by him
asking for my number.  I gave it to him
but I didn’t bother getting his number because he was just  (supposed to be) a dare…a
summer thing…or fling (hehehe)…yes guys we also have that kinda game…

 Next
day, Sunday: I was surprised to see a
message from him asking where I was. Told him that I’m already getting ready to leave the island in an hour. We dropped by his shop to bid him goodbye and
then he said he’d see us all in  Manila. I was like “yeah sure” because I wasn’t expecting
for him to do exert effort to see me once we get back to Manila.
So we finally boarded the boat and left the
island with a lot of “fun” memories with us to take back to the city. Before we even docked on the other side of
the sea, I already got a message from him telling me to take care on my way
home…okay he was just being nice I thought so I said thanks. I didn’t give that much thought on it because
I know guys like him would stop texting the following day. I finally got home…I got another
message from him that simply said "goodnight"…I just thought that the day wasn’t over yet so it’s too soon to assume that he does
like me.

 The
next day, I got a text from him again.  Fine, he just asked how my day was…so what’s the biggie?? Then it started…the constant texting until he asked me out. So I went out with him together with my friends and I must admit we did
have a good time. Then the dating began. We went out for a couple more times. He even met some of my college buddies.    Ladies and gentleman , the "getting-to-know-each-other" stage  has officially begun (that was my thought…).

 I wasn’t really sure what our status was so gathered up all the courage I could to ask him if he’s courting
me.  He simply suggested for us to take it slow and see if we click.  If we do then that would be great…if we don’t than it wasn’t meant. 

The deal was perfectly fine with me because I
wasn’t in a hurry to be in a relationship anyways.  But I made it clear to him
that given that kind of situation, it would simply mean that we can still see
other people. He said he’s okay with it though he told me that he wasn’t seeing anybody but me. Okay fine whatever. Everything was going well so far. We don’t see each other everyday but he makes
it a point to see me once a week.  We started to bond. Then one time during one of our dates, he saw
my U2 iPod and told me how nicely the songs were organized. Being the nice girl that I really am (hehehe)
I volunteered fixing/organizing his iPod. So we swapped iPods that night. I
gave him my precious U2 iPod and he gave me his 2^nd hand iPod…sorry but I
really have to mention that his was bought second hand because it’s important
for the next story I am about to tell you…

 Going
back…we were supposed to return each other’s iPods a week after but it was
raining cats and dogs and everything else during the day we were supposed to
meet.  So in other words, he brought my iPod back to the island. I remember it clearly it was a
Thursday when he went back to the island. I didn’t get a single text from him since that day until I texted him
good night the day after (Friday). He simply
texted me that there’s something I need to know but he just couldn’t tell me during that time because he’s tired and out of load (geez!). Anyway,  I texted him the following day and asked him
what he’s got to tell me. He just told
me again that he’s just gonna call me later that day because he’s at the police
station because of something that happened to him the night before…hmmm I smell
something fishy here, I thought.

 Okay,
I gotta cut the story short again. Turned out that he lost my freaking iPod!!!!!!! My precious U2
iPod!!!!! Aaaaaaarrrrgggghh!! I’m starting to feel my anger going up my
head again!

 Anyway,
okay so he lost my iPod Friday night. He
didn’t even bother calling me right away. What an a-hole! He said it was
stolen in his store while he was doing someone’s tattoo. Believable or not? I’d rather believe him because I wouldn’t
want to bear false witness against someone…so I gave him the benefit of the
doubt. He said sorry…but when asked what
his next plan is…he simply told me “well I guess yung iPod mo white na”…what
the fu#%8! was that??!!?? That wasn’t the kind of answer I was
expecting from him…the nerve of him to assume that it was totally okay for me
to have his ugly second hand white iPod!!!!!

 So
what do you think? Am I being mean for
bashing him here on my blog site? Don’t
worry, I’m sure he’s not gonna learn about this because #1: he doesn’t read blog sites because it would be a total waste of time rather than staring at his 6-pack abs on the mirror, #2: maybe he doesn’t read at all, #3: if he does read, I’m not so sure if he’s smart enough to realize that this story is actually about
him. 

Yeah I know I sound mean but my story doesn’t end here.

 There
are still a lot of things that make this person the cheapest guy I’ve ever
met! Must I go on?…til the next
chapter then…

Okay now that I got your attention, I want you to listen to my story okay…it’s not Usher of course but I’d like to say that this guy somehow resembles him. I don’t wanna tell you his real name because it is just improper, especially because I am not writing this to praise him, but to diss him!

Alright, alright I know I may seem too mean but you gotta hear my story first and then you tell me if I’m just doing the right thing.

And the story goes a little something like this…

Here’s a little flash back just to give you a background…

October 2004: I went to a quick beach getaway with my college friends into an island not far from Manila. 

We were having fun on our own and so were our guys. The guys must have gone really excited that they got drunk even before the sun has set. To punish them (my friend’s BF and my #@%! Ex) for being such nitwits, we decided to go out on a “girls’ night out”.

So there’s the four of us trying to amuse ourselves by watching the trannies do their Coyote Ugly stint on top of the nearby tables, when I chanced upon a henna tattoo booth on my right…

There I saw a guy who caught my attention effortlessly. He’s tan, tall, and oh so sexy with his shirt off. He was painting a henna tattoo on some girl who obviously was just there to flirt with him!

Anyways, I was pre-occupied with what I saw that I didn’t notice my three other girlfriends were also dumbfounded by his sexiness. We didn’t realize that we were ogling this guy the way matronas ogle their DIs until “Barbie” (not her real name of course because she’s a he!) asked us for our orders. After giving us our orders, one my girlfriends asked Barbie who the sexy guy was. We haven’t even checked ourselves in the mirror when Barbie started shouting his name and motioned for him to go to our table! We were freaking embarrassed that I actually wished the ground would open up and eat us all!

Okay so we finally regained our composure. Barbie introduced him to us and we introduced ourselves to him one by one. I purposely introduced myself last because I was thinking that he’d most likely remember my name over the others (cunning eh? hehehe). We tried to start a conversation with him just so he could spend some time with us…but then the moment he started talking…boy!  I almost felt embarrassed for him! I really didn’t understand why he has to speak in English when none of us were speaking in that language. Well I guess he’s trying to impress us but…I just wish he didn’t…I need not expound on what he said but here’s the line that I definitely will not forget…”sure ah I’ll give you a free henna tattoo but THAT’S IS if you wake up early”…(that was said with a matching pilit na pa-coño accent ha)…okay fine maybe he just didn’t notice that he committed a minor grammatical error…nobody’s perfect I know…

Anyway, so we finally bid him goodbye and goodnight…and then he simply told us to “ENJOY THE BEACH!!

Hmmm…so being the biatches that we are, we gave him an instant nickname…“Mr. Don’t-talk-just-kiss”…go figure why…

Damn! I’m kinda tired from recounting all that details. I’ll be back tomorrow…need to fix my room before I get nagged by my Mom again

You’ll get to know this guy soon because I am actually thinking of posting his pic here on my blog site…yeah I know I’m evil!…but only because I was provoked! Bwahahahahahaha!